As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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