Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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