i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
