I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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