Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
