Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
