I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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