this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize