I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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