Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize