sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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