I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
