I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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