She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
