We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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