this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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