Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
