she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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