was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
