Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
