I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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