trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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