bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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