He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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