You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
