I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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