This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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