he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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