glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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