What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
