guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize