I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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