I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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