so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
