Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
