yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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