it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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