On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
