I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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