member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
