So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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