you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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