If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
