I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
