yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
