she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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