Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize