Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize