I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
