I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
