how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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