Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
