Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
