He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
