So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize