I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
