he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
