Do you still have your period?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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