I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
