Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
