You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
